We are elated to announce that our Exit Permit has been approved and we have been submitted to the Korean courts. This is a huge step forward in the process, and we are beyond excited. As always, we are back in the waiting stage. February will come and go with no hopes of travel to South Korea, but with the anticipation of March around the corner we are starting to look at our plans. This will keep our minds busy in the mean time anyways.
The first trip to Korea will hopefully take place in March. During this trip, we will have the opportunity to visit our daughter on 2 separate occasions and will have to attend a Family Court hearing. During the meetings with our daughter we will have the opportunity to ask her Foster Mom questions regarding her current habits. We are blessed to have someone in our group that can translate these questions for us. We are also going to leave a list of open-ended questions for the Foster family to fill out to get upon our return. We hope that our daughter will cherish this information some day regarding the first year of her life.
1. About My Child
a. What calms her when she is angry or sad?
아이가 슬프거나 화가 났을때 어떻게 달래주는게 좋을까요?
b. What sets her off?
아이를 울게 만드는 것이 있다면 무엇인가요?
c. Does she seek touch or avoid it?
아이가 스킨쉽을 좋아하나요? 아니면 피하나요?
d. How does she react when another child is upset? Or an adult?
주변의 다른 아이나 어른이 화가나면 어떻게 반응하나요?
e. What are her favorite activities and toys?
아이가 가장 좋아하는 활동과 장난감은 무엇인가요?
f. What was the first food she tried?
아이가 처음 먹은 음식은 무엇인가요?
g. What are her favorite food and treats? How can I prepare these foods or snacks?
아이가 가장 좋아하는 음식과 간식은 무엇인가요? 제가 그 음식들을 어떻게 준비할수 있을까요?
h. What is her favorite drink? Does she drink milk or soy?
아이가 좋아하는 음료가 있나요? 우유나 두유를 마시나요?
i. Any food she dislikes?
아이가 싫어하는 음식이 있나요?
j. Any food allergies?
음식 알레르기가 있습니까?
k. Any medication allergies?
약 알레르기가 있습니까?
l. What is she afraid of?
아이가 무서워하는것이 있나요?
m. When did she say her first word? What was it?
언제 처음 말했나요? 첫 단어는 무엇이었습니까?
n. What words or phrases does she say and understand and can you write those down for us?
말하고 이해하는 단어나 간단한 문장이 있나요? 있다면 적어주실 수 있나요?
o. When was her first smile?
아이가 처음 웃었던 때는 언제인가요?
p. When did she first crawl?
언제 처음 기었나요?
q. Does she use the potty? Does she wear a diaper all day or at bedtime?
아이가 유아용변기를 사용하나요? 기저귀를 찬다면 하루종일 차는지 잠 잘때만 차는지 궁금합니다.
r. How does she sleep? (alone/with someone, on a mat/crib, light, music, and for how long?)
아이가 어떻게 자는지 설명해주세요. (혼자/함께, 바닥/침대, 조명, 음악 수면시간등등)
s. What is his/her bedtime routine? (bath, snack, and etc.)
잠자기 전에 하는 일들이 있나요? (목욕, 간식등)
t. Does she take a nap?
낮잠을 자나요?
2. About Foster Family
a. Foster mom: tell us a little about yourself (birthday, favorite color, hobbies)
위탁 어머님에 대해 알고싶습니다. 생일이나 취미, 가장 좋아하는 색깔등등 어머님에 대해 알려주세요.
b. Foster dad: tell us a little about yourself (birthday, favorite color, hobbies)
위탁 아버님에 대해 알고싶습니다. 생일이나 취미, 가장 좋아하는 색깔등등 아버님에 대해 알려주세요.
u. What do you remember about the day you met her?
아이를 처음 만나신 날의 기억을 나누어주세요.
v. How old was she when he came to you?
저희 아이가 몇살때 부모님 가정에 왔나요?
w. What was your first impression?
아이의 첫인상에 대해 말씀해주세요.
x. What are a few of your favorite memories with her?
아이와 함께 한 추억중에 특별한 몇가지를 알려주세요.
y. What makes her different than other foster children you've had?
다른 위탁자녀들과 다른점은 무엇인가요?
c. What else would you like to tell her as she grows up?
아이가 자라면서 해 주시고 싶으신 말씀이 있으신가요?
d. What do you imagine she will become when he grows up?
아이가 자라서 어떤 사람이 되면 좋을까요?
e. Hopes and wishes for her future?
아이의 미래에대한 소망이나 바람을 알려주세요.
During the actual court hearing we will be asked lots of questions by the judge regarding why we are adopting and questions from our home study and psychological evaluations. Other people have emphasized questions that we need to have ready answers to and have been assured that this is not as intimidating as it sounds. Nevertheless, I'm sure we will have many rehearsals on the plane ride over.
After the first trip, we will have to come home without our precious girl. I'm pretty sure this will be the worst part yet, but we are hoping and praying for a quick turn around. When we get the custody hearing date, we are able to turn around and go back. At this time, we will gain custody and we will stay in country with her until her visa is ready and prepared. We will have about a week in South Korea with just Abbi Grace, which will be good as an adjustment period before the very, very long plane ride home.
There are so many things we do not know about her right now, as we have not really seen a picture or video of her since they were last taken on October 31st. However, we cannot wait to see her again and see how she has grown and her super happy little face. With our last update, her foster mom said that she loves to dance and move to the music and crawls very fast. She is fitting into the Tyler family already!
So for now, we have been planning activities for the plane for Abbi Grace, things that we want to sightsee and tour, and we have still been trying to learn some basic language (although I think Grayson knows more than I do at this point). Grayson and Paxton are growing weary in the waiting, but they are doing well. Grayson said, "mom, we have been very, very patient, but Abbi Grace is not here yet" and Paxton looks behind me when I come through the door from being gone for an extended period time and asks if I brought her home yet. They really want her to be here for their birthday party in April, so hopefully that will happen!
Thank you all for all of your prayers and support over this journey. You cannot imagine how much this means to our family!
Continued prayers:
-Pray for Abbi Grace's foster family
-Pray for the judge that we have been assigned (that he is feeling very productive and assigns us a court date quickly)
-Pray for Abbi Grace's birthmother (as my heart continues to break for her)
-Pray for a smooth transition and quick bonding and attachment
-Pray for wisdom for us in how to handle the upcoming months
-Pray for continued financial peace in the midst of all of this
We are still hoping to collect tax-deductible donations for our Both Hands project that can go towards our current travel expenses of $10,000. We are eligible to receive up to $2,000 still, which could cover the cost of her plane ticket home.
Please visit our website to donate: https://bothhands.org/project/tyler-281
